I haven't been to India in 6 years. 6 years! That's the longest I've gone in my life without going to India. Thankfully there's been reasons for a lot of my family to visit the US, including my dada (grandfather). Almost exactly a year ago, however, my dada had a heart attack. He recovered, but not as fully as we'd like. I knew I needed to get to India to see him, but got bogged down dealing with Jaisal's rejection and Kirk's mom's cancer treatments. Finally things seemed calm, so last month I headed to India for a week.
Little did I know that my trip would coincide with my dada's last week on this earth. He passed away the morning after I left Ahmedabad and just an hour after my flight departed for the US from Mumbai. There aren't words to express how thankful I am that I got to spend that last week with him.
My dada was a truly amazing man. He impacted everyone around him and had a permanently happy and unstoppable spirit. He always had a special place in my heart since he pretty much lived with my family from when I was born until I was 6. Besides playing with my brother, my childhood memories are filled with playing with my dada and dadi.
I always found it fascinating to think about how the world had changed during my dada's life. He saw and experienced so much during his 96 years. Dada was born in 1916 into a wealthy family. His dad and grandfather were traders, earning their living from the stock market rather than labor. His mom was also from a well-off family (although the story is that her father Kaidas' gains were a bit ill-gotten - supposedly he was a loan shark). Unlike many people, dada's family's wealth allowed them to own a large multi-story home in the inner neighborhoods, Shamla ni pol, of the walled city part of old Ahmedabad. (A little history of pols in Ahmedabad.)
Dada never really had a chance to benefit from his family's relative affluence. His father lost Rs. 60,000 in one day in the stock market (an obscene amount of money at the time), basically bankrupting the family. While they should have inherited money from dada's mom's family, the inheritance was stolen by dada's step-grandmother (who may or may not have also poisoned and killed her husband).
Illness had crippled dada's father, leaving him unable to engage in physical work so dada dropped out of school. At the age of 15 he went to work in the biggest industry in Ahmedabad at that time - the textile mills - to support his parents, 2 brothers and 2 sisters.
Dada used his wages, and his will as the man of the house, to make sure that all his siblings went to school. Through this determination, each of his siblings obtained a college education, even his sisters. An astonishing goal and accomplishment for that era and in India. His two brothers both went on to work in the mills and his sisters actually got jobs working as teachers. Working women in the late 40's/early 50's in India - that's craziness.
The next phase of dada's life involved raising his own family. Dada's marriage to my dadi was arranged when he was just a young boy, when his family's fortunes were brighter. The actual marriage almost didn't happen though. When dada's family lost all their money, dadi's parents wondered if they should find a way out of the engagement. It was my dadi, who I'm not even sure had met my dada though they had written to one another, who was committed to getting married.
Once married, dadi moved from Mumbai to live in the Shamla ni pol house with her mother-in-law, brothers and sisters-in-law and over time their spouses, and everyone's kids. As you can imagine there were great fun times of being close to family and there was lots of stress and strain between relationships because of the living situation - which involved one indoor bathing area for everyone.
In this home, Dada and dadi had 8 children. 4 of their kids died while quite young. All through that Dada kept on providing for the family by working in the mills. He'd bike to work, bike home for lunch, bike back to work, and then bike home at the end of the day. I feel proud of myself when I on occasion bike the 3.5 mile roundtrip route to work on my very nice and comfortable geared bike, but it's really nothing compared to my dada who biked longer distances, more times a day, for decades.
(Not exactly a picture of dada working at the mills or biking, but he is working at my parent's business and he just generally looks super cool, so I thought it was an appropriate picture.)
Dada and dadi's domestic life was soon to change. Three of their children, including my dad, would soon leave Ahmedabad to build lives in the U.S. This is one of my favorite pictures with pretty much everyone in my dad's family saying goodbye to him as he starts off his journey towards America.
This started a whole new phase where my grandparents would go back and forth between America and India. They flew on intercontinental jets, saw snow, traveled to new places. They also got to see and experience all of the amenities of America - everyone had cars, color TVs in every room, etc. etc.
Dada adapted to it all. He made sure to walk every day, even if it was just laps inside our house. When at his house in India, he loved to go to a nearby garden to walk with his laughing club. Walk a few laps and then sit and tell jokes and laugh the morning and evening away. He loved his family and always just rolled with the punches.
Little did I know that my trip would coincide with my dada's last week on this earth. He passed away the morning after I left Ahmedabad and just an hour after my flight departed for the US from Mumbai. There aren't words to express how thankful I am that I got to spend that last week with him.
My dada was a truly amazing man. He impacted everyone around him and had a permanently happy and unstoppable spirit. He always had a special place in my heart since he pretty much lived with my family from when I was born until I was 6. Besides playing with my brother, my childhood memories are filled with playing with my dada and dadi.
I always found it fascinating to think about how the world had changed during my dada's life. He saw and experienced so much during his 96 years. Dada was born in 1916 into a wealthy family. His dad and grandfather were traders, earning their living from the stock market rather than labor. His mom was also from a well-off family (although the story is that her father Kaidas' gains were a bit ill-gotten - supposedly he was a loan shark). Unlike many people, dada's family's wealth allowed them to own a large multi-story home in the inner neighborhoods, Shamla ni pol, of the walled city part of old Ahmedabad. (A little history of pols in Ahmedabad.)
Dada never really had a chance to benefit from his family's relative affluence. His father lost Rs. 60,000 in one day in the stock market (an obscene amount of money at the time), basically bankrupting the family. While they should have inherited money from dada's mom's family, the inheritance was stolen by dada's step-grandmother (who may or may not have also poisoned and killed her husband).
Illness had crippled dada's father, leaving him unable to engage in physical work so dada dropped out of school. At the age of 15 he went to work in the biggest industry in Ahmedabad at that time - the textile mills - to support his parents, 2 brothers and 2 sisters.
Dada used his wages, and his will as the man of the house, to make sure that all his siblings went to school. Through this determination, each of his siblings obtained a college education, even his sisters. An astonishing goal and accomplishment for that era and in India. His two brothers both went on to work in the mills and his sisters actually got jobs working as teachers. Working women in the late 40's/early 50's in India - that's craziness.
The next phase of dada's life involved raising his own family. Dada's marriage to my dadi was arranged when he was just a young boy, when his family's fortunes were brighter. The actual marriage almost didn't happen though. When dada's family lost all their money, dadi's parents wondered if they should find a way out of the engagement. It was my dadi, who I'm not even sure had met my dada though they had written to one another, who was committed to getting married.
Once married, dadi moved from Mumbai to live in the Shamla ni pol house with her mother-in-law, brothers and sisters-in-law and over time their spouses, and everyone's kids. As you can imagine there were great fun times of being close to family and there was lots of stress and strain between relationships because of the living situation - which involved one indoor bathing area for everyone.
In this home, Dada and dadi had 8 children. 4 of their kids died while quite young. All through that Dada kept on providing for the family by working in the mills. He'd bike to work, bike home for lunch, bike back to work, and then bike home at the end of the day. I feel proud of myself when I on occasion bike the 3.5 mile roundtrip route to work on my very nice and comfortable geared bike, but it's really nothing compared to my dada who biked longer distances, more times a day, for decades.
Dada and dadi's domestic life was soon to change. Three of their children, including my dad, would soon leave Ahmedabad to build lives in the U.S. This is one of my favorite pictures with pretty much everyone in my dad's family saying goodbye to him as he starts off his journey towards America.
This started a whole new phase where my grandparents would go back and forth between America and India. They flew on intercontinental jets, saw snow, traveled to new places. They also got to see and experience all of the amenities of America - everyone had cars, color TVs in every room, etc. etc.
(dada with a handful of grandkids and great-grandkids)
(and the two youngest of his 8 great grandkids)
(last picture with dada and all his kids, at his 94th birthday celebration)
Dada made it each of his grandkids' weddings, except one. Including my cousin's wedding in Guatemala where half the guests were unable to attend because of a volcano explosion and a tropical storm. Dada frequently said his goal was to make it 100 years old and no one doubted that he would make it. Even in his last week, when I suspect he knew that he was nearing the end of his life, he was making me feel better. He told me that he loved me and that he'll never forget me, even in his next life. There aren't words to express how much I loved him and how eternally grateful I'll be that I got to be with him before he passed away.
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